Broken Communication and Texting
Broken Communication and texting we can thank today to the world of texting. It’s true that most cannot even communicate well in person. When it comes from text and emails we are attempting to communicate correctly but what flushes out on the other end is not what we intend the recipient to receive at all.
As humans whether you know it or not we communicate with each other on several levels. Although it is often broken communication, it it far more accurate than hiding behind a text message. Factor in our tone of voice, facial expression, posture, etc. This tells a story beyond just the words coming from our lips. Include hand expression and gestures, head nods, smiling, frowning and all of this makes up the intent of what we are saying. It adds flavor to the words we use. Silence also is a way of communicating. Most of what we think we are saying is made up of all these factors related to everything other than speech. Herein lies the problem we face today. We attempt to convey our feelings through texting and emailing with nothing more than emoji symbols.
Broken Communication and Texting
How It Affects Us
People today are addicted to electronic messaging. Broken communication face to face is already a huge problem. With all of the tools that help people to get across their emotions. We have the smiley face, the frown and sad face emoji. I am still confused with the emoji that is crying or laughter with tears coming from the face. How are we suppose to know if the other person on the other end is being genuine and sincere? We make the assumption that the person is accurately receiving correct information.
Researchers have been hard at work to explore if people are able to accurately understand and pick up directly on the emotions from the sender. Almost all recipients of the emails read by the receiver were lost in translation. They were not even close to understanding what the other felt (anger, frustration, feelings of happiness, anxiety, rage, etc)
Broken Communication and Texting
The Loss of Connection
We are unable to connect and understand the emotional nature. We get lost in these modern forms of communicating. Nobody wants to pick up the phone to talk today. Much less meet face to face. I hear it all the time in sessions especially with my teens. They state that is would feel awkward to talk face to face or via phone. Human intimacy is getting buried in the computers.
Human authenticity is being lost in the inability to effectively communicate in person. This is also true in the inability to effectively write. Professors on college campuses around the nation will tell you that they find more and more students unable to look them in the eye. Unable to have a direct and basic conversation. In extreme cases, one professor notes that her students do not even look her eye to eye. They have problems with the basics of having a direct conversation. Habits that do not and will not serve them well when they enter the real world. They will come across future employers that do not use these methods of communicating.
If students have questions all they do is email the professors and often at late hours. According to Renee Houston a professor of communication a the University of Puget Sound in Washington, “They never ever call.”
One college student disclosed to me in session that rarely ever does she call anyone directly. Occasionally her mother and that is only because the mother refuses to text message her daughter. Congrats mom for being bold and taking a stance. We need more parents like you to set the tone. That communication via texting and emails is not allowed. My college client goes on to say that group texting is popular now. It is easy especially when everyone is planning to get together for a night out. It makes no difference if the friend is two feet away.
Texting is the form of communication. Recently, my client went to the movies and stated that she had close to 40 messages waiting for her on the phone. They were frantic at the thought of the text not being returned in two seconds. In general most people hate the idea today of having a face to face conversation. This goes for adults as well.
Broken Communication and Texting
Ways to Improve Intimacy and Face to Face Interaction
The following are a few simple ideas and ways to ensure texting does not wipe out communication.
- Create a no-texting rule at home. When at home under the same house no texting each other is allowed.
- As a family eat dinner together and do not allow texting. Try talking.
- Support and encourage Skype and Facetime with people who live farther away.
- Seeking classes such as Toastmasters International’s is useful. Look into the youth and/or adult programs they provide.
- Speech classes and clubs that involve face to face interaction are useful.
- Parents, put away your cell phone device for a second and lead by example.
Parent are a major influencer. You can help your child or teen to learn to reconnect back with real live human beings. I challenge you as the adult to see if your able to. Seek support and counseling today. Individual counseling, group counseling, family counseling or teen counseling is a phone call away. If you feel that you need help and assistance in deprogramming from the world of text and email let’s get started.